I once had a date with a “typical” Nigerian woman and time came for deciding what to eat on the first date.
“Please choose for me, I don’t know what to pick.”
I asked her politely to make a choice but she wouldn’t so I did what every feminist would do; I picked the worst item on the menu for her, completely unpalatable and cheap while picking the most delicious and expensive item for myself.
She didn’t have a good time; I wanted to get a message across that men make terrible decisions too and allowing a man choose even what one eats is not really nice. So she learnt that lesson on the first date. Second date, I picked a good item but a cheap one; she picked the most expensive item even with the knowledge that I picked a cheap one.
Our meals served; mine in a little bowl humbled like a farmer’s, hers in a big tray with sparkles on it that one would think she came to feast with her spirit family. Now came the time for the bills, a second lesson on feminist values. I feigned instant poverty occasioned by a lost wallet; she immediately had the aghast forehead creased with wrinkles and a grey hair.
Waiter: but someone has to pay madam.
Me: Darling can you pay for our meals please?
She replied “no, I don’t even have transportation.”
I quietly left my car as collateral and walked her to the nearest keke napep; there is no way I was going to ferry someone without a plan in life.
The relationship was good and she never asked for food again from that day.
Don’t assume a men are good decision makers who will automatically know what’s good for you.
Don’t be so blindly dependent that you become a parasite to anyone not just your husband. Take responsibility and make sure your husband or boyfriend isn’t spending money like he owns a mint at home. When you are out with a man; make sure he is spending his money like its your money, better still, spend your own money.
Trust me when I say that emotional and financial dependence is the gateway to physical abuse.
Look at how Tiwa Savage handled her abusive husband; she was able to extricate herself from such mess because she was emotionally and financially independent. You don’t give people powers to even choose what goes into your mouth; is he going to help you chew it too?
Cc – Darren Idongesit Aquaisua