Why Are Your Knees So Badly Bruised?

The Chinese bride, just like the Yoruba bride, must prove on the night of the wedding that she has not dishonored the family.

What happens between the Yoruba and the Chinese on the night of the wedding?

Let’s call the bride Agbeke and the groom Agbaje.

After the wedding ceremony is over, Agbeke is led to the nuptial bed chamber by her bridal train.

Her family, friends, and the entire community who came for the wedding hung around to watch what would happen next.

Anike, one of Agbeke’s young aunties, stands vigil by the door of the nuptial bed chamber.

Soon, the groom, Agbaje, slightly drunk, arrives with his friends who push him into the bed chamber to join his bride.

At dawn, Anike the aunty enters the bed chamber to check on the newly-wedded couple.

She soon emerges brandishing a piece of white cloth stained with blood, displaying the bloodstained parts.

She is excited and hollering that “Our Agbeke is chaste and properly raise daughter, and we are proud of her! May Olodumare bless her with many children, male and female!”

Those who came for the wedding and are waiting for this news shout for joy.

The entire family is vindicated. They raised a perfect daughter.

Later, Ayo, one of Agbaje’s friends goes inside the room and drags out the protesting groom.

All his friends surround him, congratulate him, and give him cool water to replenish his energy.

But wait: they are applying shear butter on his knees, saying, “Káre, ọmọkùnrin Ogun! Gbogbo orókún ẹ̀ ti bó!” (Good job, young warrior. Why both his knees are badly bruised and bloody.”

To understand why his knees are badly bruised, you must remember that the bed is a new mat spread on the floor.

Young men who get too excited about the rugs in their sitting room know what I’m talking about.

And, it has been suggested by skeptics that the auntie who brought out the stained piece of white cloth probably planted the evidence.

Skeptics ask: Would the aunty risk entering the nuptial bed chamber on the morning after the wedding, without concealing a piece of stained white cloth in her bag, just to make sure the family’s honor remains intact?

Don’t start this new year of 2023 with heroic, self-inflicted kneecap bruises, young men, just because you just got married.

Happy 2023!

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The picture shows the bride of last year delivering a baby this year.

May all pregnant women enjoy safe delivery this new year.

Those praying for children, the new year will bring you what your hearts desire.