You don’t look Yoruba – Biti bawo?

One of the most irritating “compliments” Yoruba people hear is “You don’t look Yoruba.”
“You’re too fine to be Yoruba.”
“Wow, you speak well… for a Yoruba person.”

These are NOT compliments.
These are backhanded insults.

It is an attempt to downgrade Yoruba identity while pretending to praise you. What they’re really saying is “Yoruba people are not fine.” “Your tribe is lesser.”

That is very insulting, even when it is said with a smile.

They say these things to trigger you without looking like the bad person.

It is psychological.
If they insult Yoruba directly, it looks like tribal bias, so they package it like they are praising to avoid backlash.

It is an insult you cannot react to, so they get away with it.

They also do it to create superiority dynamics.

Statements like “You are too beautiful to be Yoruba” are meant to put your tribe down while elevating theirs.

It is a subtle way of saying “Your people are not enough.
You must resemble us to be worthy.”

Also, many races absorbed colonial-era nonsense like lighter is better, English is intelligence, western features equal beauty, and speaking the mother tongue equals backwardness.

So when they see a Yoruba person who doesn’t fit into their stereotype, it confuses their colonial-conditioned brain.

They don’t know how to process it except through insult-disguised praise.

The joke is intentional. They want us to feel defensive, ashamed, unsure, and insecure about our identity.

It is a targeted emotional poke, especially when said by someone from a race with an inferiority or superiority complex.

Yoruba people must understand that those comments are NOT compliments.
They are passive-aggressive insults, ignorant stereotyping, colonial conditioning, identity attacks, and subtle tribal bigotry.

We must stop smiling sheepishly when we hear them. They rely on our politeness to get away with disrespect.

We know who we are. We carry our heritage with our full chest. We will not shrink ourselves to fit your stereotype, and we definitely won’t smile while you insult us politely.

Ire o

Titilola Damilola