Dear Lolade,
I live with my partner and lately, he’s treating s3x like a sort of competition. I work from home and I am very strict about the hours I work so I won’t mix business with pleasure. He’s currently on his annual leave and his first week at home, he went down on me under the desk. I didn’t mind. I love him and it was fun. I was engrossed in my favourite programme the next day when he came up to me, took out his penis and said it was my turn to make him happy. When I told him I didn’t feel like it, he said I was selfish and sulked. I didn’t ask him to go down on me when he did, and don’t believe we have to match each other’s performance. How do I handle this?
Moremi, bye-mail.
Dear Moremi,
Your partner is being unreasonable and childish. It was his idea to give you oral s3x, not yours. Sulking because you can’t have what you want is a habit that should be grown out of, and has no place in an adult relationship. A couple’s ‘s3x account’ should be reviewed every month or so, not every day. The balance should be equal overall, not act for act, blow job for blow job. That kind of accounting only leads to petty, childish arguments because it is petty childish behaviour. Tell your man to grow up and leave him to work things out for himself