This is the story of my African dad – by Darren Idongesit Aquaisua

I tend to be very passionate about things I know to be right.  My mother wrote her first English language and phonology textbook in the mid 90s when there was no USB drive or photocopier readily available. She wrote those manuscripts by hand and she had the most beautiful handwriting, her manuscripts were the basis of my interest in proper pronunciation and grammar.

 

My African dad who is a medical doctor, a product of 70s UNN; people who know the quality of medical doctors that UNN produced in 70s would attest to the brilliance of my African dad but this man was like most uncultured African men who believed a woman’s place was in the house doing chores and not writing books or aspiring to academic heights.

 

My African dad took those manuscripts and tore them all up, then burnt the shreds. That was one woman’s hard work, painstaking handwritten manuscripts. Her only sin was taking the final work to her husband for blessing before contacting publishers.

 

If I am a feminist and active campaigner for women’s right, it’s because there are millions of men like my father roaming free in Nigeria and the recent blocking of the women’s right bills shows that these things are also in the highest echelons of government.

 

The male senators in collusion with female senators did block a bill for women’s rights in this 21st century and you think some women don’t deserve to be rebuked for stupidity.  You are a senator because a corrupt man negotiated to have you for their interest. So far the female senators are pawns and spectators.  Women need equal rights so we don’t have pawns selected into political offices just to help give a female face; “Oh! Women equality, there is our female senator, just look at her!”  What’s the use of a female politician when she cannot secure equality for women?

 

a typical African male with all the misogynistic talents that have been honed through millennia of brutish and brawniest evolution of the human settlements in the tropical heat of West Africa. We males have to give women a chance especially a chance to know that they are powerful and brilliant and their own bosses.

 

We are all equal, no gender is better than the other. No gender should be privileged by virtue of something which is only conferred by the 50% probability in childbirth.  The result of my mother’s help from feminists ensured she not only progressed in her career but also raised 4 wonderful young men, I am already crazy so that would mean 3 wonderful young men lol.

This is against all odds, the Nigerian society told her she couldn’t survive and that her children would become criminals but this Amazon has a lawyer in one of the best law firms in Akwaibom, a postgrad student of psychology, a postgrad student of biomedical science and a budding musician against all odds.

 

She has lectured 3 politicians in Uyo, that book that was burnt in northern Nigeria is now used by over 100,000 students, why? This woman new her onions and every single word was already in her head. She just had to sit back and write it down again after she had the right to aspire without hindrance.  I know there are millions of intelligent women trapped in similar situations who have lots to offer the Nigerian society.

 

I benefited in life because feminists stood by my mother and encouraged her to aspire.  She has since employed more than 100 people directly or indirectly but my dad’s medical practice only employed 5 at its peak.

Who has contributed more jobs to the Nigerian economy?

Who has lectured and impacted more lives?

A woman’s place is everywhere in the office, in the presidency, in the military, in the police force, in the law courts; everywhere not just the kitchen.

If you want a housekeeper, get yourself a housekeeper.

Her story will be told proudly because my mother stood up for her right to aspire and become what most African women fear to become,

Great! Great! And Great!